Yesterday, STAN and I carried on a great folkie tradition and went on a grand road trip. Well, we didn’t exactly drive cross country, but we did go to the other side of the island.



Our first stop was Kailua and Kalaheo high’s gym for some NAIA women’s basketball. Unfortunately, STAN kept the $1 program, so I don’t know the name of the tournament or the teams in it. I just know that we saw the (Liz?) Olivet Nazarene Lady Tigers take on the Montana East-West State Northern Tech Christian Something or other Skylights. The Lights lost their best player to injury at the beginning of the year, then got in a big bus accident and lost two more players for the season after a loss to Portland State, so they suited up just eight players. Olivet on the other hand had 15 players, all of who played. Seriously. One minute into the game, STAN and I noticed five players come off the ONU bench and prepare to enter the game. We were excited — platoon! A minute later, the next set of five players came off the bench to enter the game. I was like, is the coach going to sub in the next platoon every minute? And he did!

The second set, waiting to enter the game.

The switch
Olivet jumped out to a double figure lead in the first half thanks to some stupendous 3-point shooting, leading STAN and I to ponder potential headlines for the “recap.” We both decided we really liked “Tigers shoot the Lights out.” Behind its crazy long-range bombing, ONU scored 59 (!) points in the first half. That was more than either the Penn or Hawaii men scored in the entire game on Thursday night!
The second half was a completely different story. Montana East-West State Northern Tech Christian Something or Other started successfully breaking Olivet’s press and knocking down easy layups, and the Lady Tigers 3-pointers suddenly weren’t going down. Suddenly, the Tigers’ double figure lead became a 7-point deficit. The Tigers would get close again though, and with Olivet down by two with some 35 seconds to go, a Skylights player missed two free throws and Olivet’s Katie (?) Mullin knocked down a 3-pointer with 16 seconds remaining to give the Tigers a 1-point advantage. The Lights got the ball back, and their one tall player who towered over all the shorter Tigers made a sweet post move inside and dropped a little baby hook in with seconds to go. Olivet would get one more chance to inbound from half court with 1.6 seconds left, but the Tigers got called for a 5-second violation and turned the ball over. So Montana East-West State Northern Tech Christian Something or Other won — get this — 109-108!

Yes, that is the correct score.
STAN and I would like to give major props to the PA announcer at Kalaheo for doing an outstanding job. We joked that he had to work extra hard since he had to announce five new players for Olivet every minute and since both sides were scoring so much.
Oh, and of course, nothing says you’re at a public high school like toilet paper that comes in little squares in the restroom. On the whole though, Kalaheo’s restrooms were pretty clean. I’ve encountered some rather questionable restrooms on my small college basketball travels with STAN, so I highly appreciated Kalaheo’s clean toilets. (Kamehameha still had the best though! ILH!)
After the NAIA game, our road trip really began, heading out to Laie to catch the Our God Is Better Than Your God Classic — i.e., the Penn Quakers taking on the BYUH Fighting Mormons. And of course, no good road trip would be without a wrong turn followed by a few moments of confusion followed by an illegal U-ie. And then a few really, really slow-moving vehicles.

But if they drive faster, we’ll end up with a Christmas tree in our windshield.
Eventually we were headed in the right direction with nothing but clear road ahead, and we were rewarded with a gorgeous drive past misty mountains and white-capped waves. That side of the island really is so much more beautiful. Course, STAN wasn’t enjoying it cause he was worried bout getting lost and being late for the game. He loves them Mormons.

Pretty … but where are we?
We got to BYUH in about half an hour. But STAN’s momentary excitement of having found the place quickly dissipated when we saw all the intersecting roads and unmarked buildings. “How do we get over there?” STAN asked. Suddenly, a chicken crowed loudly, as if in response. We both cracked up, and STAN skipped ahead on his CD to Cluck Old Hen. Ba-gawk!

When we finally got inside the gym, the first thing I wanted to find was a restroom (long drive after all). The men’s restroom was right by the entrance, with a nice big sign over the tunnel entrance announcing there was a men’s room there. The women’s room on the other hand was harder to find. I finally found it outside the opposite tunnel from the entrance, and slipped through a propped open double door to the restroom. And what did I find in there? Toilet paper that came in little squares!
After I was through, I decided to take a sip from the water fountain before heading back out to the court. As I did so, some guy from inside came over and pulled shut the door I had slipped out through. I went back to the door and discovered that there were no handles on this side of the door. I was suddenly trapped in limbo, outside the main part of the arena, but still inside the actual building. Luckily, I saw someone leave the court through a side tunnel and then appear in my limbo, and took her path in reverse to end up back on the court.

Canon Activities Center, home of the Stormin’ Mormons
The Quakers-Mormons game was a pretty good one as well — BYUH actually had a second-half lead on the DI Quakers (who beat the ‘Bows the other night). Not that I could enjoy it — one of the BYUH radio guys had a small human there who was running around me, and I was worried he’d trip on my phone chord and rip it out of my computer, or worse, knock my computer off the bleachers. I was already trying to calculate how much to charge its owner to replace my computer and all its programs, music and memories.
Actually, STAN and I both noticed that there were quite a few small humans at the game. Those Mormons have been working overtime at being fruitful.
Penn eventually came back and won like a good DI team should, and we jetted out of there. STAN and I both agreed the first game of the day was much more interesting. And the ride back from Laie in the dark (and the smoke) was not as much fun as the ride out there. Still, it was a fun folkie, sporty kinda day.